Pilgrim Soldier

It’s been ages since I last wrote and I doubt that anyone will actually read this given that fact! However, I need to write something tonight as tomorrow Zoe & I will receive our first appointment.

These last few months have been a real journey for me as I seek to allow the Holy Spirit to ready me for service as a Salvation Army Officer. Tomorrow is not the culmination of our training but it is the first of 3 important days over the next 4 months! And so I find myself this evening with lots of thoughts going through my mind but first amongst those is the wish to be free from thinking about my own wants and desires.

This theme has been a significant one for me over the last few months and then on Monday night someone read the following taken from an ordination address in 1869:

“Go wherever God may send you. Go without wishing to have everything arranged for your own tastes and your own comfort; without wishing to have everything in accordance even with your own religious desires. Go in the spirit of perfect self-surrender, of thorough self devotion, simply for Christ. There should be no limit. Christ gives you your commission, and to Christ you must give it back.”

This sums up what I want my officership to be about! I want to give up my own self-focussed wishes and instead go and do what God requires of me so that the community of believers is built wherever He chooses to send us.

So I’m waiting for tomorrow and everything that that will bring!

One of the problems with college life is that it raises questions that make you ponder but then another question crops up in the next lecture and you forget what you were pondering as you ponder anew! Sometimes though a thought breaks through the morass of ponderings and takes up residence in the forefront of your mind. On those occasions it suddenly seems that everything points to that same thought and its just that you are seeing it from different angles! This is one such thought!

It’s a couple of years ago now that I suddenly realised that Jesus passed the mantle of being the “Light of the World” to us, his followers. It seems like quite a ‘thick’ thing to say because I’m sure everyone else had already grasped this. However, I wasn’t quite as quick on the uptake as others. I knew it but had never made the link to the same phrase being used about him. This isn’t the thought though, its just background!

What has come to me over the last few weeks and is something that I am desperately trying to work out in my own mind is what us being the “Light of the world” actually means. And what I’ve realised is that all too often we don’t use it correctly!

What happens when you turn the light on in a dark room? It illuminates the room of course and you see things as they really are. Of course there are shadows and we can see the dust on surfaces, but the light doesn’t point it out, it simply lightens the darkness! All too often we, and I include myself in this, go into dark places and start pointing out all the dirt in those places. Instead of simply lighting up the room we take it upon ourselves to show how dirty and dusty and shadow-filled that room is!

But if we look at what Jesus does in the Gospels we see a man who simply goes into the dark places of the world and sheds the light of his presence. He doesn’t point out the sin in the lives of those people he encounters, well he does but normally only when they are supposed to already be living in the light and are the religious people. Instead he simply allows people to see the dirt themselves and allows them to decide what to do about it themselves.

I’m beginning to realise that this is what we’re supposed to do as well. It’s about us taking God’s light out in the world’s ever increasing dark places and lighting up the room. We don’t need to point out the dirt because if our light is being truly effective, people will see it anyway. All we have to do is spread God’s light and give people the chance to see their lives in the light of God!

What is it that gives me my sense of belonging to a church or corps? What makes me feel as if I belong to it?

Is it the sense of belonging to a community of people who love each other? Is it a commitment to the mission of the corps/church? Is it the style of the worship that makes me feel at home?

Or do I simply go because that is where I’ve always gone? Or rather where I’ve been sent!

Why do I belong? Why even ask? Why?

Isn’t it enough just to belong? Isn’t it? Do I?

Lots of questions but no answers! I don’t know, but there must be a reason; there must be a purpose!

I can’t believe that it’s been 2 months since I last wrote anything on the blog. Time just seems to be disappearing these days and sitting down to write just hasn’t been high on the list of priorities.

Zoe & I are coming to the end of our summer placement at Thornton Heath Corps and on 1 October will be back for our 2nd year at College. The 3 months have gone really fast but at the same time it seems ages ago that we last in the classroom. Why does that happen?

Anyway, I’m hoping that I will at least be able to write a little more this year as I have lots of thoughts that I’d love to try and write on.

Right now I’m sat in our room in a hotel in Liepaja in Latvia enjoying a holiday with Zoe and the girls. I’ve found it difficult to switch off until yesterday but seem to be a lot better since leaving Riga.

Today we’re off to The Salvation Army’s family camp which is just down the road. I’m particularly looking forward to a concert by a Latvian worship leader and Christian singer Valdis Indrišonoks and of course meeting up with old friends.

As always these days it’s been awhile since I last posted anything. It seems to be more a case of trying to keep the blog alive at the moment as life has been so busy because of training! Anyway, just a thought that came from the last book that I was reading, Pete Grieg’s A Vision and a Vow.

In his book Grieg writes:

Lately I’ve been longing more than anything else to belong to a community that is purely and simply deeply kind.

Kindness seems to be an underrated commodity, even in the church, and to be honest I’ve been unkind a lot in my own life and have suffered been on the receiving end of a great deal of unkindness within some of the congregations I’ve been a part of. So the idea of a church community that places a high value on kindness is appealing to say the least!

Imagine for a moment belonging to a place/community where everyone is kind to each other, not just those who they have things in common with but those they don’t. That’s what we should be aiming for if we believe in the fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, kindness…! What’s more in that sort of community the aim would be to constantly strive for more of the same, not out of a spiritual one-up-manship but out of a genuine love for each other!

Grieg goes on to say that in the context of our striving to be more evangelistic:

Ironically, it may well be when we stop “doing” evangelism and start loving our neighbours for their company rather than their scalps, that the Church will grow in breadth and depth.

I wouldn’t invite people to a church where people are unkind to each other but I would certainly invite people to a place where kindness is part of the make-up!

The longer I’m walking this path of discipleship the more convinced I am becoming that one of the biggest reasons that more and more people are disillusioned by the Church (and also why less and less people see the Christian ‘religion’ as a viable option in their lives) is because of the sheer lack of love shown between Christians. This is coupled to the language of hate that seems to be to stock language of many Christians towards those who they deem to be the worst ’sinners’.

Strangely as I read the New Testament the message that comes across time and time and time again is the message of ‘Love’! God’s love towards sinful humanity and sinful humanity’s flawed attempt to love him back. What I don’t understand is where nastiness and hatred fit into the picture!

What causes this question today? Well as one friend lies in hospital seriously ill, someone who I have never ever seen show anything but love towards God and her fellow humanity, I’ve seen others, on the very public forum of Facebook, who find it humorous to make nasty jokes or downright nasty (dare I say evil?) comments about someone they’ve never met and who is unable to defend himself due to his untimely death and at the same time proclaim their love for God. I seem to recall the Bible talks about that somewhere!

So where is the love in our walk? I’m not always good at it, but dear Lord help me get better!