Yesterday I made a comment on a blog and said this:
… it is possible to be looking into the distance for something that is in reality not that far from what we already have! Change is so difficult but we need to remember to reflect [...] community to others within our own community of believers rather than seeking it outside and leaving others behind!”
Then last night I read the following in The Irresistible Revolution:
There is a brilliant truth that I have come to see, largely because of Dietrich Bonhoeffer [...] whose words are now inscribed on my wall: “The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community [even if their intentions are ever so earnest], but the person who loves those around them will create community.”
I know I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side, especially when I am frustrated by church/work in some way. But the reality is that whilst we can learn from other expressions of church than our own, God has placed us in the community that we are in for a reason. If we believe that God’s plan for the world is based within the Church and that in order to fulfill that plan then we must be community minded, then we need to start loving the people that God has placed us with. We need to stop looking longingly for a community model that we can attach ourselves to, and instead commit ourselves to building it in the place God has put us.
Interesting thoughts - thought so on me blog as well!
I know you weren’t attacking, but I want to clarify something. I don’t suggest that we should look elsewhere, unless God is leading us elsewhere. Instead, I feel we should be part of encouraging our community to move forward.
So in other words agree with you totally. However, as I said, if God is indeed leading us out to something new then perhaps we should follow?
Martin, I know you aren’t suggesting looking elsewhere, but sometimes it feels that there are people who are so disgruntled with Church that they lose sight of the community of God’s people they are in. They are, in some ways, the current equivalent of church hoppers that have abounded for years.
Now if God is leading us elsewhere then of course we must follow. The fact we will be returning to the UK next year is testament to God’s leading. Part of us would love to stay here in Latvia but it doesn’t appear to be what God wants.
Looking searchingly at the way church health is understood in so many different ways by different people, it has struck me that there are ‘fast’ ways of looking at it, and ’slow’ ways of looking at it. Fast ways include concentrating on just saying ‘love one another’ and ‘use everyone’s spiritual gifts’. They take for granted we can handle disagreements well, communicate in healthy ways, are self-aware of how we operate in groups, can make decisions easily in open and transparent ways etc, and come easily to clear role expectations. But the reality is that ‘love one another’ may come easily and instinctively to some, but to most of us we need it all to be broken down in to bite sized chunks and we need to consciously and carefully take it on. I for one came back to the church knowing I needed to learn about some of the things above, I came in from an intensely Jewish background, how I operated naturally in groups in the chassidshe world was completely different to how I needed to be in Christian churches, the ‘rules’ are all different.
Hence, building community to me now seems to consist of breaking the problem of church health down into very small pieces and learning them alongside everyone one piece at a time, going if necessary at the pace of the very slowest. Church health - relational holiness - quality of community is all related, and is everyone’s responsibility down to the youngest teen - the children even, and the newest member.
It is really hitting me that relational holiness means ‘love one another’ intelligently and carefully. It means breaking things down into elements that can be thought over, but without it becoming legalistic. There is nothing wrong with asking, if someone in church is feeling bullied, what would we do about it? There may be several answers which can be useful, and while there needs to be process to fall back on somewhere in the system, there may be other less formal things that can be done first. By having the patience and courage to discuss difficult issues - like ‘how do we make decisions, and are we all happy with the way decisions are being made?’ we come to a place where we all understand what good practice is, how to recognise bad practice, and what to do about it.
It is also the best place to my mind to understand better what makes for good Christian leadership, and where the danger areas are in different approaches.
I think having the confidence of knowing that we are tackling the issues of our quality of community life, enables people to be willing to commit and willing to stay the course. People start to leave when they feel it is all hopeless.
Do come back and argue!
Warmest blessings
Eleanor n/TSSF
Eleanor, there is no need to argue with what you are saying as it clearly contains a great deal of wisdom!
For me personally, one of the first steps towards relational holiness would be to look inwardly at ourselves. Individual relationships within the community are often the things that tear local congregations apart, far more than our theological disagreements! I can think of several corps I have attended over the years which were divided into 2, 3 or even 4 camps. Usually it was because of something person A said to person B decades ago.
I’m reminded of the verse in Matthew that says, “First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
We come together into our communities of faith as real people with real hurts. This means that your advice is so valid. We need to tackle these issues within our communities.
This has been done so little over the years that we need to find ways of doing this! Any suggestions?
Graeme